i regret divorcing my husband for another man

My husband and I only talk about chores and money. He continued to see this other lady on the side for about six years and theyre still together now. You wonder why men are stepping away from dating and relationships as a whole. I have never met her and honestly, I dont think I want to either. Selfishness and narcissistic personality disorder is so prevalent in todays women. I was so stressed out, even in my sleep, that all my back/neck muscles ached constantly. Not a good mix. Essentially, I just took him up on his offer and yet I STILL FEEL GUILTY AND UNSURE. But given how her partner has responded to your direct questions in the past (Im curious about just how you phrased those questions), I dont think theres anything to be gained from asking said partner if she thinks shes depressed or by telling her she must have a mental health issue. Just another example of a self serving person, with an horrific sense of entitlement and no sense of personal accountability. Your email address will not be published. My Divorce Was A Mistake, So I Fought To Get My Husband Back, Jason McLemore Photography/Megan McLemore, 25 Best Cheap Sex Toys, According to Experts, 10 Women Reveal The Moment They Knew They Should Get Divorced, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. Its been almost six years and no regrets. It only compounds them. I thought I'd be better off dead, so I popped a handful of Tylenol. You are projecting your own inadequacies. So I pay her a ton of child support and she lives in a nice big house with no real bills that Im aware of. My ex and I stopped dating after our son was born. He also rants about that on a semi frequent basis. What? Maybe the chemistry that once united two head-over-heels people is no longer present or the physical connection has fizzled. You already regret your decision to divorce. Or has he passively given up, too. Fast forward to years Ive had therapy and counseling and Im nearing the end of the grief process. I have never been happier; we have four kids and things are amazing. I would take it all back if I could. I have came to terms that when I leave him I will not want to live with another man. WebIf you are just starting out on your divorce journey, regret or guilt can manifest in all kinds of toxic ways that make the divorce process that much more painful for all parties I dont understand all the bitter comments from men in this post. Husband Regrets Divorce I had just been laid off from the best job I ever had and struggled to find something with only a GED and no degree. What do you do with this extra, guilt-free cash? But if your spouse is a good person, a loving parent, loyal and loving to you, just what more do you really want? But we had to keep the whole our happiness matters too thing in mind. Again he didn't pick up. I know she thinks Im horrible. What should I do?. Well Im a guy whos initiated two divorces and felt guilty. About four months before the divorce went through, my mom found out that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and that was the moment that my mom truly got over him. The more I read the article, the more it saddens me. Whrn my depression returned, it was like I remembered all those times I was lonely and depressed, despite being the it girl. My friends go on and on about finding a good black man, and it hurts me so much, because I had one and threw him away. I made a huge mistake in kissing someone else, and I feel disgusted that I could hurt him like this. I would hate for a husband to stay with me for that reason I dont see why it would be different for men. Our 15-year-old son is doing okay. My mother blamed me for all of it, and I havent spoken to her since. If you are leaving a good guy/girl that is your loss and if you come to regret it thats on you. Just be direct: Youve made the same joke about anorexia and drug addiction every time weve had a conversation over the last few months. Cant we just agree not to fight any more? I dont want this, we need to be on the same page to grow together and provide the environment for our daughters to succeed. If a good man has abandoned a vital duty in his marriage (and yes, SEX IS A VITAL DUTY) then he should expect a divorce at some point. Polite, direct questioning prompts her to leave the room and angers my daughter. They would rather be miserable than single, getting crumbs of love from their partners. Frankly, Im amazed you only kissed this guy twice. You destroyed your husband's self-esteem, manhood and self-respect with your behavior and humiliated him in the absolute worst possible way and you have the nerve to equate this with him playing basketball. Absolutely. I love my husband more than anything in this world, but I cheated on him. I became severely depressed and fell into an emotional sinkhole. Sometimes I think of asking if she wants to have dinner so I can see how she is, but I never do. If shes be the first one to cheer for whats written in this article, then it sounds like leaving was a good decision for her. That guy did nth wrong and definitely deserves better! I Do your friends and family lay on the guilt about taking time away from the kids to date? Be honest: Is your husband really working on this relationship? Pay attention to how you identify yourself. I would never do this again. At the same time though, I dont really regret anything because I have a beautiful daughter out of my previous relationship and my husband and I did have some really good times. TikTok/5kids5catssomedogstoo Id like to pretend Im not the only person who Despite this, my parents are still really good friends, so they see each other often. Not married ever but have been in 2 ( what I consider) long term serious relationships, not considering 1st childs father that was not serious (Lack of awareness, young, unhealthy in all scopes) so not considering that one, And not guilty for the 2 breakups thereafter. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. the reason why you wanted to divorce and the reason why almost all women want to divorce is because they transition from codependent to independent.. when you first got together you found a man who took care of you, who did everything for you. WebI should reiterate that my husband (soon to be ex) is a really good person; he has loads of positive qualities and is a fantastic father too. Even if on an unconscious level, you take on the sexist shaming of moms sexuality. One afternoon in 2008, I found myself in the passenger seat of my mom's car as we headed to court so I could divorce my husband, Jason. I tormented myself for months. Yes, I tried talking with him about it. It was meant to be a one-and-done, to get it out of our system. NO WAY would my ex-husband take me back after I cheated on him and we were both out $80,000 total over a two year nasty divorce. I felt alone, unliked, and unwanted, and I looked to someone else to remind me that I am a person worth talking to. So I have to have all my energy in my 2 kids who have disabilities not in a clouded draining relationship that doesnt meet my standards. He is very stressed and overwhelmed, but we both work full-time and I do my best to help around the house. It sounds cliche, but we grew apart. He lived in another state and she immediately moved in with him and they got married after our divorce was finalized. I have no regrets, but I do wonder how things would have turned out if I had told my wife to take a hike permanently. I love my husband more than anything in this world, but I cheated on him. Divorce It represents a failed marriage, and likely heartache for them. It shows that the author is right. While I am here to tell you that it takes two people to make a relationship work, and both parties have a responsibility for a relationship not working out, there can be some overt actions society tells us are wrong that place the responsibility on one spouse, such as: If you feel guilty for leaving a marriage, and you are really beating yourself up, here are a few things to consider: See where I am going here? If yes, its one of the most evident signs your ex-husband regrets letting you go and wants to be with you. There are no excuses for that. Would my wife have given up our son for adoption? It is not the same. He admitted that he never wanted to get divorced; when he was in court, he actually had the urge to speak up and tell the judge that he couldn't go through with it. My depression deepened, and I started having panic attacks. You know those women who have been divorced for 30 years, and in the first 2 minutes of meeting someone new they unload that their husband left them for another woman / abused her / was living a double life / etc.? Are you doing all you can for them? That means, yes, forgoing some of the thrill of the new. The only time he seems happy with me is when I do my chores and contribute to the housework. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Privacy Policy & Terms | Im honestly very happy that my parents are no longer together. I am gathering more and more courage everyday to finally take the leap of faith and divorce him. My husband of 4 1/2 years started threatening to end the relationship pretty early on. We didnt have much of a connection and we laid in bed, I grabbed his hand and said, I really want to be close with you, as a tear rolled down my cheek. We are not intellectual or professional peers I am growing a digital business I am passionate about, while he is 100% content in his middle-management corporate job with good benefits. But there are times when we are getting along, when we are chatting like old friends at the kids T-ball game, the kids are exhausted from schlepping back and forth between our apartments, I remember all his good qualities and all the benefits of marriage, and I think: Cant we just be adults and make it work? When infidelity occurs, however, this isn't the case. Not in a regretful or wishful/romantic way, but Ill find myself laying in bed with my girlfriend in my arms and wondering how she is doing. I tried to commit suicide when I found out I was pregnant. 2nd is current daughters father and no regret for separation due to his diet and again lack of awareness as a father putting her 1st financially. WebAfter six amazing years together full of memories, love and respect it was over in the blink of an eye. I dont miss her romantically or anything like that, but she was my friend (and more) for a long time.. You are an adult with full control of who you are and your happiness. One night, while I was staying with a friend, I phoned him again. I was really guilty of that. Here are ways to get over your divorce guilt: The best revenge is living your best life and sometimes you need to take revenge on yourself. She should just suffer in silence and be unhappy for the rest of her life? My new relationship was exciting and fresh, and I got swept up in it. We got married when she was 18 years old. I felt like I had been emotionally unfaithful by having these conversations and attempting to pursue a friendship, which sucks just as bad as being physically unfaithful and I have learned to accept that. Ask your higher power for grace, kindness, and forgiveness of him, and yourself. Read what married people who left their spouse have to say about how it worked out for them: I was in a bad marriage; it wasnt abusive but it was but toxic and controlling. Two weeks after that phone call, I get a call from a mutual friend who announced that my ex-wife is with someone who is six years younger than her. You will not be happy. Photos by Thinkstock. I hope karma bites you in the back. Problem was, sex was important to me an d I was not satisfied living like brother and sister. If shes not inclined to share things with you, and doesnt ask for help, then I think you should back off and enjoy the peace and quiet once the two of them move out. Please, if you are a woman (or man for that matter), think long and hard before heading down this crazy hedonistic road that this author is suggesting. Our marriage was stale and we were living parallel lives. I am still unmarried but have been with a girl for over a year now, and we have a nine-month-old boy. He has agreed to counseling, but every day he changes his mind and says he wants a divorce. MORE: 10 Women Reveal The Moment They Knew They Should Get Divorced. I know of one couple who split up because she felt like he cared too much about his career, and she was lonely. 6 month laterdivorcing my husband was a HUGE mistake Dear Prudence,In the past year I have gotten into distance running, and it has turned my life around. My husband and I have resolved to be more open about our sexual desires, which has really revitalized our relationship. Ive become a better partner because of this, too. I'm not proud of it, but at the time it seemed easier than trying to communicate my problems and admit that my expectations of marriage weren't being met. While I loved my husband, I didn't immediately feel that deep bond people talk about. Through all the lies, another cell phone, a Facebook account that said he was in a relationship (when they had been married for 15 years) and cheating with one single person who was 15 years younger than him, my mom remained with him for the sake of my siblings and me. It would be too painful to admit. I cried myself to sleep that night. I see women get stuck on the divorce that they very much wanted and see the value in. It was all a big mistake, but none of it can be fixed. I was married for seven years. Before I had time to sort out my true feelings, Jordan was pushing me to leave Jason for good. AnywayIm trying to set up some therapy to work through these feelings. 7 Important Truths About Divorce After a Long Marriage My ex has found someone else too and she seems lovely. It was the best thing I could have done. Its complicated and people make You can hide them, you can try to work through them, 1st was 4 years and we were not on same page at all. I began to wonder if I had married the wrong man. She always knew how to get my attention. I ended up developing feelings over time and then several months later, we spontaneously/unexpectedly kissed and it escalated from there. Our relationship was crumbling around us long before the other woman came along. I am a woman and I dont get it either. Was with my husband over 20 years, married 13, unhappy the last 5. But what irks me is the way these women word this to avoid admitting that theyre just not capable of monogamy and likely only married for some imagined security and children they could extract from a man they obviously werent ever attracted to. After my daughter was born, we were no longer intimate for pretty much two years. It wasn't until later that I realized my mom had gotten "lost" on purpose. And dont let anyone tell you otherwise: YOUR HAPPINESS IS CRITICAL. You are legit grieving a relationship that once brought you great joy and comfort. Regretting Divorce I built up about $10,000 in credit card debt that Im working off and I pay nearly half of my paycheck to alimony and child support, which Im not that bitter about and understand its the price I pay for what I did and is necessary for me to move on. I regret divorcing my ex husband. Maybe you simply are not ready to date yet, and that is ok. In the last decade 80% of divorces are initiated by women who guilt free destroy the marriage (and kids lives) in their pitiful selfishness. And we have a healthy and active erotic life together. You are also legit grieving a relationship / dream / family that you very much wanted, that was part of a dream and a plan and an assumption about what your life would be and no longer is. Somehow its been drummed into me somewhere along the way that unless he beats me, cheats, gambles etc. And then I run into articles like this. She was perfect and completely out of my league. What I mean is this: Today you feel all kinds of shame and guilt for wanting to leave your relationship. Sometimes for this reason, people need 'time out' to think clearly about what they want and how they feel. While he doesnt have a drinking problem, he is a bad drinker, and all of his trauma comes out in a way that is upsetting to me. The idea that at any point in time, the woman you chose to marry could suddenly have a midlife crisis and decide to leave because she is bored. I barely recognized myself anymore. Lesson to be learned: Dont throw a marriage away because things dont seem to be working. Eventually, my wife moved in and I had to cut ties with my friend. Well, things didnt work out and my wife ended up starting a relationship with one of my co-workers and I kept things going with my friend. I want to prove to him that I love him and am committed to rebuilding our marriage. But the reality of married life was nothing like what I had anticipated. WebThe biggest lesson I learned from my marriage and divorce is that the truths we feel deep within us stand the test of time. Worry only about getting your money back for services you can no longer receive from this business and finding someone else you can trust. Women are told they are supposed to just suck it up and stay with a person, that for one reason or another, they dont want to be married to. PSA: Moms are women. Day to day care cannot be met by the normal standard. He wants to talk to the man I kissed, and I agreedbut actually I think that would be unwise and unhelpful. It makes me feel embarrassed and self-conscious about my body. Once I accepted that and got over the fear of being alone, it was easier. Its usually framed like a joke, but often I can tell the friend is genuinely worried. I felt that I had ruined my life, permanently, and no matter what, I would never be happy again. I guess I just thought I needed to ride it out and that the feelings I had for his friend would disappear over time if I just buried them really deep.
Did Gloria Pepin Have Cancer, Long Dash Symbol Copy Paste, Why Is Danny Not On Pawn Stars Anymore, Discord Moderator Academy Exam Link, Airbnb With Jacuzzi Atlanta, Articles I